Diary

Ellie's journey. She is 44 years old. She walked into my studio with a mission. She began to tell me she had body image issues and her journey was to believe and appreciate herself, and to be her very best. One part of her journey was to lose 100 pounds; she reached that goal and her reward was to document that achievement.I asked Ellie to describe herself to me and she responded; "funny, smart, loyal, trustworthy, empathetic, compassionate and eclectic." When we started making portraits I could actually see these words coming through my lens and in her eyes as she smiled and giggled. I felt her energy and beautiful spirit and it made me feel happy.I asked Ellie what she liked about herself and she replied;"my hair, I love my hair. I love it when it's all curly from being washed, I love how dark it is, but also my strands of wisdom (grey) show up against the dark of it. I love how tall I am. I love how strong I am. I love my shoulders and how strong they make me feel. I love my little waist my 'violin shape.' From a lifetime of not seeing my natural beauty, I'm working on embracing myself fully and accepting my heritage of sturdy yet soft and strong body type I've inherited from my French ancestors. I am still self-conscious about my rear and thighs."I asked Ellie about her hobbies; art, nature, embroidery, learning. She loves flowers and lace and camping.I asked her how she saw herself being photographed "sweet and innocent/maybe sexy too" She is known to her group of friends as "warrior." If you spend time getting to know her you will understand why. This explains the images of her with paint on her pretty little face :)A gift Ellie gave me; stop judging myself and love who I am, what I am, and work to change the things I can. I notice as she speaks that she used the words "self-conscious" instead of "don't like or hate." I like this approach and decide to change my mindset for my own issues.My mission was to make her see with my eyes.

Hailey was getting married and wanted something very special for her fiancé. While styling and designing her shoot I kept imaging how her life is changing and she's becoming a wife with a whole new world of adventure. Trees and flowers came to mind...how they bloom and become some beautiful. The night before the shoot I went to my back yard and cut away flowers and branches and started play using fishing line, tape, ribbon and whatever else I thought I could find to make work. I knew we were going to be using the studio's roccoco bed with pink, the vintage lingerie with the vanity, and a simple backdrop, but wanted more to add. The fresh flowers were perfect.

If you are following me you know how much I love using flowers, fabrics, natural light, and my beautiful rococo bed. This head piece is actually a long wreath I had laying around the studio for the past year and haven't used. During the process of styling and designing Sabrina and I had the same vision of folding it up and placing it on her pretty little head and used piece of fabric I had laying around. The tulle skirt was made for the studio about a year ago. I love adding grain and textures to images, it reminds me of when I shot film and weddings before the digital era.Sabrina has been on a personal journey and in celebration of losing 100 pounds she wanted to have her portrait made. She is now a marathon runner :) AGAIN! How powerful are women.

Lily Christensen is a salsa dancer in Seattle and while visiting family, her Auntie, Melanie Patterson of Colourblind Salon in Tulsa she took time out to have her portraits made. I was so excited to photograph her since I have not photographed a dancer before...that I can remember anyway. Since the shoot was not planned in advance she showed up with only what she was wearing. We browsed through the wardrobe closet here at the studio and she found some items she wanted to be photographed in. She danced around the studio as if she was the only person in the room. Dance into your dreams Lily. This poem reminded me of Lily...the way she dances around with such grace and beauty and with a smile on her face.

I had not planned to work on my family vacation to Quebec this past June, but the universe thought differently. So I asked my family if they could give me a day to shoot while on vacation. The second day of my vacation I spent with Amy, an aspiring model and this was her first shoot to get her started down her path. If you don't know this about me, I rarely photograph models unless I am at a workshop. I love photographing the woman who never gets in front of the camera, for whatever reason; too old, too fat, I have to loose weight first (If I called you a year later would you have lost that weight?), too thin, "I'm not photogenic" girls, etc. That's why I'm here, to show you are, in this moment, in this time, at this age, at this size, you are a beautiful person and you are loved and those loved ones what to see you exist in photos; Heck! I love looking back on photos of me when I was young and seeing who I have become, and my family does too.Inspiration. While sitting at the patio table with my mom I noticed the tablecloth from the 70's. It reminded me of when I was young and having picnics at the park. The tablecloth was warm toned, muted fruit and as my mind wondered I thought to myself I want to make a photograph of this...put it on the body. Then another thought, I remembered seeing the plastic fruit on the table...WOW! I'm going to put that on her head, but how? My mom walked into the living area, took the lampshade off the lamp and started to pin the fruit to the lampshade. MOM! You are amazing! Using the wall of the home and the beautiful sunlight coming through the old, large french windows I started to shoot. I remembered seeing lace draped over the dresser in our my room, so I grabbed that for our next wardrobe change.Living in the moment, taking a thought and making it happen. Thank you family for putting up with me and my passion and supporting me. Thank you Mom for seeing my vision and helping me make it come to life. Amy, I wish you the best in your journey into modeling.

You Are Beautiful!!! I keep hearing how the experience of having portraits made has empowered and changed the way women feel about themselves and it reminds me each time how important my job is. I want every woman to have that feeling. When you see yourself in an image that is hanging on your wall or in a beautiful album laying on your coffee table or by your bedside it reminds you every day that "You Are Beautiful." No matter your age, size, color, or your personal issues, Exist In Photos for you and for your loved ones.

Three creative minds coming together to create beautiful imagery; Branjae Jackson Music, Melanie Patterson @ ColourBlind Salon, and myself. Branjae brought some of her mother's authentic garments and jewelry. We worked to put it all together then Branjae did her thing. We had such fun this day...freedom to be creative.

We all struggle to love the body we live in. Throughout my journey, I have experienced body transformations that have challenged my own body image. When I was younger, I used to compare myself to my sisters- wishing I had curves in all the same places as they did. As I got older and had my son, my body began going through a change. My stomach, chest, bum, and legs became areas I was challenged to love about myself. Even though I have periods of my life when loving myself is harder than other times, I use positive self-talk as a daily practice to teach myself how to appreciate the body I have.It is so important to exercise positive affirmation because how we see ourselves directly influences our own self confidence and the way we come across to others. Body image is something we have to work on all the time, every day. We encounter negative thoughts throughout the day that can easily add up to a damaging self-image. Here are some of the tools that have helped me love my body:1. Surround yourself by people that lift you up2. Take new photos of yourself as a physical reminder of the beauty you hold.3. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones4. Wear clothes that fit and that you are comfortable with5. Take notice of the things your body can do6. Do nice things for your body and mind7. Find activities you love to get your body moving8. Make a list of things you love about your body and yourself. Review it often.9. Stop comparingPracticing mindfulness in reference to your body image will lead to an overall stronger self-image. I challenge you to take time to appreciate the body that serves you every day. I have trained my mind to not dwell on the attributes I see as negative and to instead be empowered by all that my body is capable of, and I believe you can too! I hope these tips will help you cultivate a body positive mindset and appreciate your own body at any stage of life.“Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.” ~ Sophia Loren

During Dahlia's consultation she told me she was on a special life's journey and part of that journey was to love who she is "now.' She recently posted this to her Facebook Page.Earlier this year I went wayyyy outside of my comfort zone as part of my journey. Here's just a peek of our session. Lana Thomas of Voulez Vous Boudoir is truly remarkable. She captures the beauty and femininity of a woman and turns her into a work of art. This is a must experience for every woman! Thank you, Lana! You and your work has made a huge impact on my life and the way I see myself.— with Lana Thomas